Everything does NOT happen for a reason!

Before you get all confused and upset and start texting me messages of hope, please read on. "Everything happens for a reason" is a phrase or motto that most people tell themselves when things go wrong or they make a bad choices. Sometimes, this statement can be accurate, but I think this thinking takes us personally and us as a society down a very slippery slope.

First, I will start with a story that I used to use the "everything happens for a reason" line on. It'll be a brief synopsis.

At my high-school graduation party, I met a guy that, for some reason beyond my current knowledge, swept me off my feet. Months proceeded, and he moved to Waco when I started at Baylor. It quickly went downhill and my freshman year of college was plagued with control, yelling, fear, and unhappiness. It was one of the darkest times of my life. I was grateful to have supportive sisters, family, and friends around me that helped me get out of that relationship. In the end, I was left broken, bruised, confused and utterly lost.

I told myself over and over that "everything happens for a reason." Slowly I began to see that I was stronger than I thought. I realized that now I would be able to spot the signs of abusive relationships in my friends sooner, and I could help other victim to them. So to me, this was the reason I experienced this awful pain.

Now, as a Christian, I hear this a lot. It helps us to cope with the evils of this world and explains why bad things happen to good people. But there is where the slippery slope starts. Why would a loving God let this happen?

Did God want me to suffer the fear and pain and heartbreak of that relationship? HECK NO! God wants us to desire Him, and to want to live like Christ.

God never wanted me to suffer like that. God wept when that happened. God wept when I was in high school and purposefully harmed my body in seek of perfection. God wept when my uncle's bad choice ended in his death. And God weeps every time His children suffer.

That last scenario spurned this post. About a month ago I was getting ready for the Out of the Darkness Walk to raise money for suicide prevention. I was in Bible study and told the girls about the walk to ask for prayer. I cried for the first time in a long time about my uncle's death.

Out of my uncle's death God has shown me my desire to help others with mental illnesses. Now, my family volunteers at the walks, I help with the Houston-area newsletter, and I hope to write and speak on the demons of mental illness someday. So, you say, "everything happens for a reason."

That day before Bible study, I cried out to God, "Why did it have to be that way!? Why did my uncle have to die for me to see this!?"

I had fallen down the slope. But thank God I had told my precious friends, and one of them spoke up.

"That was NOT in God's plan. God's plan was not for your uncle to die, but God will use it," she said. Well THANK YOU Jenny. I cannot say that enough. THANK YOU. You explained it perfectly.

We make choices in our lives, some good some bad. Adam and Eve ate the apple and, whatever your views of original sin are, they brought sin into this world. Because of sin, we have death, disease, and everyday pain and suffering. So, it is because of sin these things happen. God is perfect and ever abounding in love. He does not cause these, but allows them to happen because there is sin in the world.

God's plan was not for my uncle to fall victim to his demons and leave us here questioning why. My uncle, for whatever reason, made that choice. So my family walked through the fire. And out of that fire came diamonds. Diamonds of promises that my uncle's death would not be in vain.

So I think, that "everything doesn't happen for a reason," but that "everything CAN be used for the KOG." (That's Kingdom of God for those non Second people!) And I say CAN for a very specific reason. Just like God wanted us to choose against the temptations and demons that came our way, we have to choose to not let those experiences die in vain.

Too many people think talking about suicide or eating disorders will increase the problem. Too many are afraid to talk about abusive relationships, alcoholism, lust, or whatever demon plagues you. Don't let what God wants to do pass you by. I can't change the bad choices I made. So I choose to let God work through me. God can use it for the KOG, just like He used Job. But we have to choose to let Him work.

Hopefully in my work with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, money will go to research for mental illnesses and save lives. I can't see clearly yet all that God will use me for from my experiences, but I can't wait to find out!

So I dare you: 1. Seek the Lord every day to be more like Him. 2. When you stumble or bad things happen to good people, TRUST HIM and know "He will use it for the KOG!"

**I am very interested in any comments you may have on the subject or any pertinent quotes. I am human and definitely not all in the know!